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11.06.2008

Another day, another half dollar

As mentioned before, my desk is right in the middle of a huge open space area. This brings about all sort of problems: you can't look at sleazy pictures sent in by your fellow colleagues and friends for starters. (Well, you can, but oh ever so briefly.) Slagging people off via msn becomes complicated as well because you never know when the target of said slagging passes by and the last thing you want is a disgruntled prepubescent screaming queen in your hands (figuratively speaking and otherwise, believe me). Lastly, since I am one of the oldest in the department bearing a leadership position and being the polite and approachable gentleman that I am (read idiot) all the tricky and sticky situations (read shite) is present to me (read shoveled my way). What keeps me going then, one wonders? Well, today I just realized one of the factors: Women! Ain't that a kick in the rubber parts? All it takes is a bit of grooming, a shirt and it's all compliments, hugs, kisses and marriage proposals, kid you not! And to be honest, I love every minute of the TLC my girls provide, seriously. Since all the good gay men appear to have gone MIA (or are just plain ugly idiots) you has to make do with what he has.

"You smell like heaven", one of them said today and how very very bittersweet is it that the best compliment one hears in a long time comes from a woman?

14 comments:

P.A. said...

Allow me some comments:

"can't look at sleazy pictures sent in by your fellow colleagues and friends for starters." - U there to work or jack off? And u're the boss, for fuck sake!

"Slagging people off via msn becomes" - U HAVE MSN, U BASTARD!! BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT U GOT!!

"want is a disgruntled prepubescent screaming queen in your hands" - Am I working there?! Can I? I'm a very seniored trainer and my english is perfect!!! (not to mention dazzlingly charming and one who can scream with the best of them!)

"I am one of the oldest in the department bearing a leadership position" - Are they mad?!

"being the polite and approachable gentleman that I am" - Are they blind?!

"Ain't that a kick in the rubber parts?" - Oy!!!

"All it takes is a bit of grooming, a shirt and it's all compliments, hugs, kisses and marriage proposals, kid you not!" - Desperate cows! HE'S AS POOFSTER AS THEY COME!!! HE BENDS OVER FORWARD!! HE REALLY KISSES ASS!!!

"Since all the good gay men appear to have gone MIA" - How very dare you?!

""You smell like heaven"," - And what is the perfume, can I venture?

"the best compliment one hears in a long time comes from a woman?" - fuck off!

Graven said...

Oh, like you are all work work work, mister oh-I-fancy-that-hairdress-that-looks-like-Jesus-so-much-I-want-his-corpus-christi-right-now.

You can't work in my company. The prepubescent screaming queen quota is already met. Perhaps you could apply under the Geriatric Screaming Queen category.

Yes, they are mad.

No, they are not blind, I'm that good of an actor.

Oye what?

Actually, nowadays it's "knob-jockey" or "bent like a lightbulb". Keep up darling, keep up.

All good gay men ARE mia. I'm patiently waiting for the next batch of metrosexuals to rediscover themselves as knob-jockeys. Come on girls! Get your fingers up their bums! They will never forget it (or want anything else).

Same I've been using for about 10 years now... Tommy.

Lastly, I love it when you talk rough. It makes me all warm and fuzzy. Kinda like a peach.


Anyhooooo, I do love my girls.

P.A. said...

Again, all the good gay men are MIA?! Just who introduce you to Tommy?! Probably some gay man gone MIA!

Graven said...

Actually it was somebody else. Don't worry, it was years ago, it's natural that it slipped your mind.

And you are not MIA, are you, you big wally? You are right here. (sort of)

AstroBoy™ said...

atão e eu bitch???
MIA too?
Ainda ontem fui lindo lindo por ter ligado precocupado... E hoje estou MIA?
You are so fucked!

Graven said...

ZOMG! You two are amazing! I'm not talking about my friends here. You know what I miss, being surprised. Being flirted at. Being caught off guard. Meeting interesting people and I don't mean meeting in a biblical sense, mind you, more in the lines of possible friendship material. (without disregarding the possibility of a nice roll in the hay, of course.)

You two are so beyond that. Don't know about heaven, but you sure have secured a place in my heart.

(I can picture you already, feeling sick due to this overtly mushy, although truly heartfelt, commentary) ^_^

P.A. said...

Oh no, my dear! I love earing you saying that!!!
I just think me and astroboy should meet someday, then.
Astroboy, are you single, dead cute and incredibly rich?
Me love you long time!!!!

Graven said...

Quem a AstroBela? É rica em sonhos e saias de tule. Diz que disse...

AstroBoy™ said...

xOMGa!

Primeiros: I love knowing you feel that way about us baby. But I do confess I felt a bit naseous. Threw up a bit, but I'll be okay...

Singudos: p.a. we really do need to meet! I am not single, and I am not rich, but dead cute is an understatement! (--,)

Tirceiros: AstroBela é o ca**lho! (que pode ser encontrado debaixo das minha muitas saias de tule)... You know me too well graven darling, you just leave me head-over-pink all stars!

Trureloo,
AstroBela
Esta Bichanísse não foi patrocinada pelo Bichísses.

P.A. said...

Astrobabe

So if you are not single or rich but you are dead cute, why exactely should we meet? So I can curse life for meeting another hunk of a man that I cannot date (or another 4 letter word that comes to mind!)?!

Graven said...

Sorry to "butt in", but you two meeting would be the Castro remake of the Clash of the Titans, adequately entitled Clash of the Divas.

AstroBoy™ said...

( ' ' o) Puta!

AstroBoy™ said...

p.a.: to curse the heavens obviously! It makes me oh so horny!

P.A. said...

Astrobabe

Nothing that a quicky in the backroom wouldn't solve. And I am all up for that!